Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Standing your Ground

5-year-old Amethyst still insists on going to bed with one of us most of the time. I believe this stems from a fear of abandonment that rears it's head in the daylight hours as well. Rob or I always have to be in the same room or an adjacent room. She needs to see one of us at all times when we're home. If either Rob or myself aren't home, she's fine. If one of her grandmothers is watching her and puts her to bed, she puts up no resistance.
Tonight of her own accord she made a deal with me.
"Mommy, if I don't watch one more show I'll go to sleep in your room, but if I do watch one more show I'll sleep in my room."
I agreed, knowing full well there would still be a struggle. Sure enough as soon as her cartoon was over the crying jag began.
"I wish I never made that deal!"
"I wanna sleep in your room!"
"I want the night to start over so I can choose the other thing!"
(Sidebar: the things this kid says boggle my mind sometimes.)
I stood my ground, and after an explanation of why she was not going to my room and the subsequent struggle to follow, I managed to steer her through her bedtime routine and place her in bed with her stuffed dinosaurs and the door open. She whimpered and pounded the wall for about 10-15 minutes, tired herself out and fell asleep. I hate when she's miserable, it makes the rest of us miserable, but I am glad I made her follow through. Like I told her, don't make deals you don't intend to keep. She thought I was going to back down and I didn't.
She may end up back in bed with me tomorrow night but for now, I'm satisfied.